We welcome Kasper and Laus, who regularly blog on DaddyO.dk about life as a father, and here they focus on fatherhood before, during, and after pregnancy. Today on the blog, they will share their thoughts on when one is ready to become a father. Please give a warm welcome to these two gentlemen – we will be seeing a lot of them..
When do you know you are ready to become a father?
You don’t know. And you aren’t, until you suddenly find yourself in it. And that is precisely what is the most nerve-wracking part of it. But there are certainly some signs that you can use as a guideline! Read on here to get five sure signs that you are ready to become a father!
Why do we men rarely feel ready to have children?
That’s a really good question. Because after all, it is the most natural thing in the world. When you were younger, you probably tried to ensure the extinction of your family by telling yourself: “I’m really not ready” and “I can’t afford that – do you know that a sleeping bag costs 2000 kr. and a stroller 10,000 kr.?”
But here’s a fun fact: you can afford it all – it’s about prioritization. A prioritization that will, by the way, become a natural part of everyday life. My girlfriend and I are both on student grants, so I know what I’m talking about. You might miss new clothes for yourself. But honestly, there will be spit-up everywhere anyway. Every day. So you’re better off with your old, worn-out rags.
Ready, set, and full speed ahead on the sperm cells
If you’re thinking about becoming a father – that is, the one they call “the strongest in the world” – here are some points that can confirm or deny whether you should take your thoughts seriously.
- Do you know that feeling of going to a Friday bar or hanging around at work for a cold beer after work? If you’re already tired of that, then you’re well on your way.
- We’re all tired of having hangovers! But sometimes it’s really nice to have a hangover; you lie under the covers and stuff your face with 500kCal an hour. When you’re tired of having a hangover – I mean really tired – take it as a sign that you’re ready to spend your Saturdays, Sundays, and every other day on spit-up, screaming, and poop.
- When you go for a walk with your girlfriend or partner, and you talk about the children you see, that’s a sign. A really good sign that you’re ready to reproduce.
- Do you get up on Sunday morning (because you don’t have a hangover) and think that you should get more out of the day? Then that’s also a sign that you’re ready to become a father!
I’m willing to stick my neck out and say that very few men look at children and think that they look forward to screaming, crying, spit-up, and dirty diapers. However, I know that many men happily think about playing games, having water fights, and building LEGO when they look at children. But as we all know, you have to crawl before you can do tricks on the soccer field (unless you get junior to hammer awkwardly on the R3 button when you play FIFA!). And that’s probably the first period that scares most men!
Time will tell
My biggest concern has always been whether I could handle the responsibility that came with having children. When I became a father, I still wasn't sure if I could live up to that great responsibility. For example, I couldn't solve quadratic equations, even if my life depended on it. And I still can't. But even though I've only been a father for a mere three months, those three months have taught me that it will all work out.
Because when you become a father, you are thousands of levels above your child. Your child can do nothing but suck, scream, and poop. And even if you can't change a diaper at first, you will learn how to do it. The old saying “time will tell” fits quite well in this context. Over time, you will surely learn to make pancakes and understand a tax return. And one fine day, I might even be able to solve quadratic equations. If not, I can at least pay someone to do it.
However, taking responsibility is not a given. You must be willing to change your life. Radically, even. And your personal happiness must also take a backseat for the little person you have created. You will need to give up that part of you that hung out with friends at all hours – when your buddies become parents themselves, they will understand.
People who claim that their lives have not changed after having children are lying more than Pinocchio. Otherwise, they have a magic lamp that only they know about.
The 5 foolproof signs
There are 5 foolproof signs that you are slowly ready to become a father:
- You have bought a station wagon
- You are building a respectable collection of tools
- You have gained 5 kilos since you met your girlfriend and watch X Factor on Friday nights
- Your friends can't come to Champions League nights because they have children themselves.
- You have an extra room.
Of course, there are also 5 sure signs that you are absolutely not ready to become a father!
- You have your name engraved on a seat at the local beer pusher.
- You have the Tinder app.
- You live in a studio apartment.
- You do not have a girlfriend.
- You play candy crush on your phone.
Neither Rome nor a baby is built in one day!
It takes at least nine months from the initial exercises on the sheets to the exam at the hospital. But those nine months are worth their weight in gold for you. Think of the time as a long warm-up exercise. For the expectant mother, it is pure torture – my girlfriend has described every day of her pregnancy as the last day of the Roskilde Festival.
Now, back to the point: You have nine months or about 40 weeks to prepare to become a father! And it will be incredibly hard, and I’m not just thinking about the loss of sleep and overdraft on Uncle Dan.
However, I am sure that you will come to love every single second of life as a father. You will definitely also experience the scenario below, and if you can already smile at it now, you are well on your way, Mr. DaddyO-to-be!
You wake up at 03:47 and say “oh dear little one, what a beautiful poop you have made there! I’ll just move you up to the changing table while I remove the masterpiece from the duvet, sheet, and bumper.”
