DaddyO.dk is once again guesting the blog and this time they offer a thorough self-examination based on how they have changed since becoming fathers. They share the results with us, and you can try to see if it fits your husband - and if you are the man, you can see if it fits you.
10 things that have changed since I became a father
I actually knew it well. Everyone told me. So I thought I was pretty well prepared. But it has still taken me by surprise how many things have changed since I became a father.
The blog post originally started out titled '5 things that have changed since I became a father'. But after I had written the first five points, I could clearly see that five points were far from sufficient. There was simply a need for five more points. There are so many things that have changed.
My list includes both the bigger changes and the small everyday changes, and it is not organized in any chronological order. The first point on the list is therefore neither the point where I noted a change first, nor the point I have changed the most. It was simply the first thing that came to my mind. It's very simple, and it's probably just that very masculine approach.
1. My ability to multitask
I am perfectly aware that women have long patented the ability to multitask. And before I became a father, I was indeed terrible at doing multiple things at once. But that has changed. Without putting myself on a pedestal, I am now an excellent multitasker. With junior in my arms, I can make coffee, talk to the long-haired one, and navigate various social media. So I call bullshit, when certain people (read: women) assert that we men cannot multitask. Currently, I am also working on being able to hold the phone between my ear and shoulder - unfortunately, I still do not master that technique.
2. I have become a morning person
The teenage version of me would probably look at me with sad and tired eyes and call me an old fool. At 29 years old, I lost the ability to sleep all day, which I could easily do in my teenage years. But it is only now, after I have become a father, that I have become a full-fledged morning person. Don't get me wrong, I don't wake up with Christmas lights in my eyes when junior screams at 5:17 AM. But when I finally manage to drag my tired body out of bed, rub the sleep out of my eyes, and drink some coffee, mornings are actually fucking fantastic. Of course, I pay for the early mornings on the other end, as it is hardly more than 21:30 before I start getting ready for the night. And that is going to be quite critical in the autumn months, where Champions League matches end no earlier than around 22:30.
3. I drink more coffee
Point number three catches the ball that number two threw into the air. I have been a coffee drinker for what is now approaching 10 years. But my need for coffee, and the magical caffeine it contains, has intensified to such an extent that it can now very well be defined as a full-blown addiction. My addiction to that brown, caffeine-filled, tar-like drink is naturally rooted in the fact that my nighttime sleep has been significantly shortened since I became a father. I simply do not function anymore without my coffee.
4. I drink cold coffee
Point number four continues on the deep jab that point number three sent off (I hope you can keep up with the football terminology). As mentioned, I really need my coffee, but it is very rare that I actually have the time to sit down and enjoy a cup of brown tar in peace and quiet. Most often, I am disturbed by junior, and therefore often have to settle for a lukewarm cup of coffee. Previously, the cold coffee would have been poured out, but I need the caffeine so much that it goes straight down the hatch.
5. The joy of not doing a fucking thing
In the past, my weekends were supposed to be filled with appointments, so they stood out at both ends. It didn't matter whether the appointments were for binge drinking, training, football, or coffee, as long as they were there. I still enjoy being social (and going on binge drinking), but I am also very satisfied when I go into a weekend without a single appointment. Relaxing with junior and the long-haired one is very high on the list of things I love the most.
6. I feel successful
I have always imagined that I would have an important position in some boring company and earn well over half a million a year before I would feel like a success. That was apparently pure delusion. The second my son was born, I felt extremely successful. I have no idea if it is the primal instinct in me that tells me that reproducing oneself equals success. The fact is that I am proud and feel like a success when I look at my family.
7. The joy of bad jokes
The long-haired one and my friends will probably say that I have always been incredibly fond of bad jokes. And there might actually be something to that. But I really think that my joy for bad jokes has increased since I became a father. I believe that it is a dad thing to tell terrible bad jokes. But it is really great. And it is one of the privileges you get when you become a father. It is simply allowed to tell ridiculous bad jokes. It is our right as fathers.
8. My FIFA level has dropped drastically
I have probably never been a natural talent. But I had gradually become a pretty skilled FIFA player. I had reached a level that I was proud of and that earned respect among my friends. But it has also required countless hours in front of the screen and incredibly sore thumbs (read: one of the worst FIFA injuries). Since becoming a father, I simply have not had the time to maintain my (high) level. And the few times I have played, I have been incredibly bad – it is truly a sad development. Sad, sad, sad.
9. My vocabulary has increased explosively
Tiger leap, stroller, nursing pillow, ISO-FIX, sleeping bag, jaundice, etc. Before I became a father, I had no idea that so many words existed. I actually thought my vocabulary was complete, but I still regularly come across words in the baby universe that I have no idea what they mean. My vocabulary has therefore exploded, but those are not exactly the words I throw around when I'm sitting at a brown bodega drinking tight with my buddies.
10. Shit, shit, and more shit
Yes, you read that right. The long-haired one and I talk an incredible amount about shit. Not our own shit, but junior's shit. We talk about the consistency, the amount, the color, the frequency, etc. There is hardly a day that goes by without us talking about shit. I certainly did not imagine that shit would become one of the most interesting conversation topics in my everyday life before I became a father.
