Now it's (almost) Christmas again
If this is your first Christmas together with either a new baby or at a new family, there are some traditions that need to be adjusted. Throughout December, it can be beneficial to have a parent talk, where you discuss which traditions you would like to pass on to your children. This conversation can serve as a great starting point for your Christmas Eve.
The conversation should be repeated a couple of times as the children grow older, especially when they are old enough to start wishing for their own traditions.
How many gifts and when should the gifts be placed out?
It is important to think about how the big gift opening should take place. Should all gifts be opened at the same time or one at a time? Choose a gift distributor who is responsible for finding and handing out the gifts to each person. You can also take turns, where the person who just opened a gift picks the next one.
Another option is to combine the principles of a gift game with the gift opening. Grab a couple of dice and have a few simple rules: If you roll a 6, you can choose one of the gifts that you are holding on to from-card, and give it to the right recipient. This way, calm conditions are created for who is opening gifts, and everyone has time to see what is being unwrapped. The idea is that you are lucky to give a gift, not to receive one yourself. In this way, your child learns about the joy of giving, and time and attention are given to each individual gift. If there isn't time to distribute and unwrap 37 gifts per person, the dice can continue to roll, but the lucky ones unwrap gifts in the meantime.
Wait to place the gifts under the tree as late as possible, perhaps bringing them out after dinner. There is nothing worse than waking up to a Christmas tree surrounded by gifts and finding out that you have to wait until later in the evening. Some children may feel unwell and, in the worst case, become sick due to the excitement and expectations. By waiting to bring out the gifts, there isn't a beautiful, crackling gift landscape tempting from the morning, and the excitement can be easier to endure.
You decide whether the gifts should be spread out over the entire day or given only in the evening. It is not fun to walk around with the expectation of when the baby's first gift should be unwrapped and photographed if a generous family member has already beaten you to it. If you decide that the gift time is only after dinner, then stick to it and communicate your decision to the rest of the family. Of course, it is allowed to give Advent and calendar gifts in the morning, as you usually do.
The Christmas tree with its decorations…
Christmas with children is synonymous with walking around the Christmas tree. To prevent the evening from becoming too long and voices becoming hoarse from all the singing, it can be advantageous to select songs and how many verses you will go through. One option is to let everyone choose one song – whether the order should be from youngest to oldest or vice versa is up to you. Here, it is important to accept that the child might choose a children's song – ’Mariehønen Evigglad’ and ’Bjørnen sover can definitely wake up from their winter slumber one evening
While the singing voices are warmed up, it is a great idea to take a brisk walk while you belt out ”Now it's Christmas again .” The little variation, both with the song's fast tempo, but especially the journey through the whole house, is something that can bring Christmas lights to the little ones' eyes. However, be prepared for the youngest wanting to repeat the Christmas run around the house, even after Christmas Eve.
Risalamande and almond rain
Risalamande and the competition for the whole almond is like the gift game – The excitement of whether one finds it in their portion is overwhelming, and it doesn't have to be a dull event. Discuss whether there should be a special arrangement where all children get an almond in their portion or if there is only one almond in the entire portion.
If you and your family are up for going all in on the competition and doing something very different and surprising, then throw a huge handful of whole almonds into the portion! It’s most fun if initially only the person responsible for the almond knows how many almonds there are. That way, you can experience how everyone around the table starts to look slyly between bites, and see the surprise when almond number 2 pops up in the same mouthful. When people realize the trickery, the new rules are announced: The almond gift awaits the one who finds the most. If you want to repeat the game with more almonds, you can add more rules and prizes – The one who finds the first; the one who finds the most, etc.
Candy policy and bedtimes
December is a sweet time in various ways, and the sweet tooth will be well pampered. Avoid conflicts with sugar-high children by not placing candy jars at child height. If you have success with Friday candy without conflicts over the number of pieces, it can be a good way to carry on to Christmas Eve. Say “You know you usually get 10 pieces of candy on Fridays. But today, you can have 15(!) pieces! ” That way, you still make it something special, where the child really experiences a good deal in their favor.
Adjust Christmas for the little ones. It’s not fun to have a bedtime at 8 PM if you only sit down at the table at 7 PM. It easily gets stressful to reach everything, and the otherwise cozy evening with delicious food can quickly become rushed. Be flexible and ensure there is room for the important traditions, and not just the ones you ‘have to’. If some want to go to church while others want to watch the Disney Christmas show, then split up.
In extension of bedtimes and reaching everything, it can be beneficial to divide the evening before/after the little ones' bedtimes. The adults can handle the many gifts more easily and understand that the sight can be overwhelming for small children. Adjust to the children's sleep and activity needs, so unnecessary conflicts do not arise with them in the form of exclusions and “no no no, was said!” Instead, create a cozy evening where the children are catered to, and where the older children and adults have time for gifts and Christmas candy later in the evening, when the little ones are tucked in.
Christmas separately
We know that Christmas is the children's party, and therefore it can be a challenge in a divorced family. But it doesn't have to dampen the evening.
It can be hard to be a parent and have to celebrate Christmas without your little elf children. It is, of course, a tough time to be without your children, but if they are celebrating Christmas with the other parent, remember that this is the agreement. Create your own Christmas Eve with your family, or volunteer for those without family. It gives the children peace of mind to know that mom or dad is having a cozy evening, so they can enjoy Christmas without feeling guilty. Call early in the day and wish them a Merry Christmas, and then talk together later in the evening or the next day when it's time to share about all the unwrapped gifts.
It is important not to confuse the children with 2 Christmas Eves split between the parents. It is a tough program, also for the adults, and if you are a child of divorce having to split the Christmas time between two parents, it is difficult to find space for the long breaks. Many children find it hard to maintain the excitement, and if it is spread over several evenings, it can lead to conflicts with exhausted children. Agree to have one Christmas Eve, where you as parents alternate from year to year. The parent who has the children-free Christmas Eve can still do something cozy and Christmas-themed with the kids. It doesn't have to be a big roast and caramelized potatoes, but make it a bit festive. Perhaps give them their gifts there, but without copying Christmas Eve.
Read more about how a divorce Christmas can be a success for both children and parents here
The most important advice for Christmas is: Consider what your child needs, you know your child best
/ Mammashop
